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Superwholock | Flute | Life | Random stuff
another one, one of my favourite quotes.
I have an audition tomorrow.
I’m not nervous. I’m not even excited. I’m just blank.
I’m just very worried. Actuallly.
I haven’t had the time to “polish” and pracitce as much on my pieces as I would have liked to, nor have I really been in the best “mental” state of determination for this.
Deep down I really, really REALLY want this so much.
I’m worried I won’t be admitted to this school for the second time in a row.
Then I worry that I won’t be admitted to my second school of choice either, because then I will have nothing to do for another year, again. I’ve climbed a long way up and I don’t want to fall back again because I don’t know if I can make it another round. I don’t know how to do.
Still I’ve heard that story about a very known swedish flutist who tried several times (5 times or more?) before he was admitted to the music-programme he wanted to atted. You hear people say “Don’t give up!” and “follow your dreams”, but well, that isn’t very easy when I feel that I get hindered rather than helped.
I really want to show them how much I want this and I’m afraid they won’t be able to see it. I’ve been struggling a lot with the pieces but practicing today was just.. nah. I can make it but it feels like it falls pretty flat..
oh god this it’s an important day for my future tomorrow
I seriously feel like crying
is it really too much to ask to just want to spend your life learning things without being tested on them
I was within and without. Simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Reblogging this again because it’s so relatable to my life right now. Sigh.
Why Complicate Life?
1. Missing somebody – Call.
2. Wanna meet up – Invite.
3. Wanna be understood – Explain.
4. Have questions – Ask.
5. Don’t like something - Speak up.
6. Like something – Share it.
7. Want something - Ask for it.
8. Love someone – Tell them.
We only have one life. Keep it simple.
The Man From Earth (2007)
Drove into town to watch The Hobbit with my sisters this afternoon and IT WAS GREAT :D
Though someone had made a really stupid parking right behind me when we were going home, so I had a hard time stearing around to get out… REALLY BIG GREAT THANK YOU to the girl who stepped out of another car behind and helped me to look out!!!
I have also gotten myself a terrible cold. Throat and ears in pain. Ugh.
and I got to move back into my room yesterday, I haven’t slept so good for ages!!
I passed the theory test for my driving license today!!! :D
I wasn’t nervous for it when I got there, but just as I was about to press the finished-button I could feel my heart pounding so hard… and then came the green light with relief! :D
I was also supposed to have taken the photo to be on the actual card, but they had just got a new photo-machine and it seemed to work well, but the background kept reflecting the flash so none of my FOUR attempts were accepted -.-‘ I’m just going to pay them a visit later this week instead… uff.
As I was sat on the bus home across the snowy fields I picked up a memory of how I perceived the colours of my surroundings during the past winter-seasons. I wasn’t happy with myself, I was tired and close to “dark thoughts” and I hated late autumn and winter because I reckoned those seasons were so awfully brownish or greyish. I would look out on the passing landscape and see a world matching my mood really.
That is just simple truth I guess, we probably percieve the world as more beautiful when we’re happy with ourselves.
I don’t have a job nor do I go to college now so most of my time I spend at home, probably on tumblr or youtube, being very hard to motivate. But this time off from (almost) “everything” has given me the space and time to figure myself out a little more, not entirely, but more for shure - I’m happy and grateful for my life. Even if it’s kind of sucky right now.
The landscape was shifting in the colours of the white snow with darkbrown spots of earth revealed from underneath snow that had drifted away, beige cutted off crops rests, framed by a cloud-cover shifting in blue with a pink sky at the horizon just above darkblue woods. It was really beautiful.